We Never Did See That In A Long Time Ago

It seems truly unthinkable that I haven't posted since August, but life has a way of doing that. As I tell Shelley when she complains that she's always taking pictures and never IN them: there are people who make history and there are people who RECORD history. That always goes over well.

Anyway, life with the boys continues to be such an adventure. They routinely destroy the house. I mean, true demolition of all things in their path and no mercy shown. I never thought blowing several hundred dollars on a vacuum cleaner was a good idea until we had Lenny. Now that we have kids, too, it's essential.

Great Moments in Parental History
You can read all the books in the world, but nothing prepares for the real deal of parenthood. I have two great examples. Example 1: The other day, Colin walks up to me with a bunch of peanut butter on his hand...except...HE HADN'T EATEN ANY...aaaaaaagghhh! That's right, he had reached in the old mailbox (it was full) and pulled out a special delivery. Now, I know infant CPR, but this is a real challenge. Grabbing my dukey-handed son's wrist just right, as to avoid any contact with me, any part of Colin's body, furniture, electronics, you name it. Then it's handy wipes, soap, water, sanitizer, blowtorch. Why do kids do this? I thought we were the top of the food chain, but our dog, Lenny, acts like he's been maced when faced with his own poop, yet a human child -- ours no less -- grabs a handful. Go figure.

Example 2: We decided to go the anatomically correct route when Lyndon asked about his pee pee. It's science right, so no need to dodge it. Right? Well, I found myself second guessing that the other night when Lyndon stood on the couch fully exposed and yelling "PENISSSSS" at the top of his lungs. It was just family at the house at the time, but all the while my mind placed him somewhere like school or a party or a book reading doing this, and well, let's just say I am now on alert. But I laughed. I mean, come on, it's pretty funny coming from a kid. A 55-year-old wino on Beale St., not so much, but in this case, it's perfectly OK to laugh. On the flip side, maybe he wasn't ready for scientific names for body parts.

Lyndon
Lyndon is a talking machine now, always asking questions and wanting to understand stuff. He also gets some of his noun/verb agreement and tense all mixed up, which makes for some awesome quotes. I have begun to teach the boys about different countries before bed on most nights, telling them about the people, geography, food and wildlife of different countries around the world (Colin doesn't pretend to be interested, but Lyndon is). We've learned about Easter Island, Australia, Madagascar, New Zealand, Anarctica, Africa, Russia, China, Greece, Brazil, Chile, and others. After telling Lyndon one fact about Antarctica, he came up with the gem, "We never did see that in a long time ago." That's pure gold.

Colin
Colin is talking much more now and says all kinds of words other that than DATHS! although DATHS is still part of his occasional outbursts. However, we found out he's a little prodigy of sorts in that he has shocked us with his ability to recognize letters and numbers, as well as say them. He point point out and say most letters and numbers 1-10. It definitely puts heat on his 4-year-old brother, who doesn't know them nearly as well, but Lyndon is picking it up big time now. I am going to start Colin on quantum physics soon.

Lyndon's huge into dressing up in costume. Any costume. He went through costumes for Hulk, Iron Man, Spider Man (both the traditional and black costumes), and Mickey Mouse (he tried that out once, then gave it away...good call) before settling on Iron Man for Halloween. Colin ended up a turtle, Lyndon's old costume and the only one that could be put on him with minimal screaming and kicking. Baby Chewbacca was a disastrous costume attempt. They ended up trick or treating at only about four houses before Lyndon decided there were "too many kids." Colin meanwhile would ransack the candy buckets like a tasmanian devil who has eaten a box of No-Doz. All in all, they had fun, though.