The Finish Line...no, really...

It really shows that I'm a first-time parent when I used "The Finish Line" as the title of a post two weeks ago. Now at 38 weeks, we are still wondering when the big day will be, and in retrospect weren't near the "finish line" two weeks ago. Still, all is well, Shelley's belly is big, I now mop and vacuum with the best of them, and our child is likely is still wrapped up in the womb. The bags are packed and ready to go, the house is clean, the pre-drafted e-mail is prepared, the baby's room is ready, and....and....and...we wait. And now the TV is in the shop, so we just sit around and read child rearing books. One chore we haven't gotten to yet is child-proofing the house. We have a booby-trapped house that would earn top honors from the Viet Cong. Knife set about a foot off the ground, exposed outlets in every room, a limitless supply of unsecured chemicals and cleaning products under the sink. Essentially, all the house is missing is a couple of firearms and a big jar of spiders and snakes to top it off. Oh, well, we may have two more weeks. I've got time to childproof!

The Finish Line

Now begins the ending of the "nesting" phase and the beginning of the "when is it going to happen phase." We are at 36 weeks today, a figure that could be off by a week. Thus, in reality, "she could go at any minute" as they say in the boxing world. Strangely, most of the chaotic worrying about everything from "what if I drop the baby" to "what colors of poop are good again?" is gone, and now there's this placid, kind of dopey feeling that's replaced it. Picture a cow in a pasture, chewing cud and staring into the horizon. That's me right now. Of course, I cannot speak for my wife, who is actually having to carry around this extra freight for anywhere from 1-5 weeks. We also watched a video of a natural childbirth yesterday, and while it prepared me for the "Nightmare on Elm Street" level of gore that will accompany this wonderful occasion, it also burned a pretty scary image in Shelley's mind. Keep that in mind, those-yet-to-have-kids couples...watch childbirth videos at your own risk.